I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
