I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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