quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
