Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
