I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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