He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
