I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
