i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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