I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
