Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
