I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
