Its about making memories worth repressing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
