I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
