HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize