She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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