glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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