butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
