Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
