i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
