He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
