found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
