We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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