The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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