I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
