Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
