maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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