and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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I won't apologize to a one balled man
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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