Me too!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think your dad took our porno
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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