I understand Curling. That high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
