remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
