I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
ttyl tear gas
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize