is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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