Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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