I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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