True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
