just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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