If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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