I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
