When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
