Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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