On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
