Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
