I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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