wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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