nutella sex= disaster
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
