Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
