Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
