dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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