I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize