Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
