Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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