it hurts more in the daytime
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
