I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My dick has a subreddit
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
