you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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