Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
