i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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